Emotional Intelligence
Posted: May 13, 2015 Filed under: Leadership, Technology | Tags: emotional intelligence Leave a comment
I’ve touched on the subject of emotional intelligence a couple of times in this blog (here and here), but it’s such a fascinating topic that it bears addition discussion. Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed includes excellent graphics that capture the highlights. A large part of being effective has to do with what you see in yourself and in interactions with others. If we believe this, how do we incorporate it into our daily and weekly practices?
We are so busy and constantly wired in, filling every little bit of time with interactions on our mobile devices, that sometimes person-to-person connections get the short shrift. Recently I did an experiment to test how invested I am in the relationship with my cell phone. I challenge you to do the same.
- Set the timer on your phone for 30 minutes.
- Do not touch your phone until the timer goes off.
What happened? Did you feel anxious (as I did) to not be in possession of your phone for more than a few minutes?
I love the productivity and convenience of mobile devices, and they are crucial to my work. However, I also think there is a balance. To be truly effective, we also need to be self-aware and socially aware. We need to make space (time and place) in our lives to think and to engage with others and the world around us. Let’s regain the ability to be away from our devices and not experience withdrawal symptoms. I’m working on it!
Weekly Download 15.4
Posted: March 5, 2015 Filed under: Leadership, Weekly Download | Tags: 80/20 Rule, emotional intelligence, Joseph Juran, Pareto Principle, Vilfredo Pareto 1 Comment
Here’s a recap of news and notes from around the Web that caught my attention over the past week or so.
How the 80/20 Rule Helps Us be More Effective. I always thought full credit for the concept of the 80/20 Rule (a.k.a. the Pareto Principle) was due to economist Vilfredo Pareto. Clearly, attribution must also be given to Joseph Juran, one of the key thought leaders in the Quality movement. “The vital few and trivial many” is a common way Juran referenced this principle.
How We Trick our Brains into Feeling Productive delves into the many ways we attempt to rationalize our decisions and actions. “Structured procrastination” is what my prioritized task list is all about. Forcing myself to do the most important item is the intent, but sometimes I substitute something that is further down the list. Now I know why.
The headline Signs That You Lack Emotional Intelligence is sure an attention-grabber. This topic has been around since the 1980s, but was popularized by Goleman’s book of this title in 1995. One section in the article that resonated with describes gaps that occur in the communications process between “Intent” (what the speaker means) and “Impact” (what the receiver hears). Here are a few examples:
What you say: “At the end of the day, it’s all about getting the work done.”
What others hear: “All I care about is the results and if some are offended along the way, so be it.”
What you say: “If I can understand it, anyone can.”
What others hear: “You’re not smart enough to get this.”
What you say: “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
What others hear: “I don’t really care how you feel.”
Recently I have been in conversations where I felt a very different impact than what I believe the speaker intended. Later, I mentally replayed the conversations to see if I could discover what was going on and why I felt that way. Now I have an explanation and can be mindful of this gap in the future. What are gaps are you creating?
ZMAB15 